Hey all and welcome to my article on First Date Do’s and Don’ts for Women!
Making that special connection with the potential love of your life doesn’t mean that you took one giant step in their direction; instead, it is typically a set of small steps that are taken in the right direction.
To increase the likelihood that you will connect with him (or her), you will need to put yourself out there, actively make an effort and ensure that you see and are seen by as many qualified prospects as possible.
Remember that people only get to see a small portion of you in the beginning (be it online or offline) and it is that small portion that either draws them to or away from you.
The rest of the attraction is taken care of by our mannerisms and nonverbal actions.
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You can and believe us when we tell you that these are even more powerful than our profiles and speak volumes about us.
So you have met a fantastic guy (or gal) online, quite likely through an online dating site such as eHarmony, Match.com or PerfectMatch, and you’re about to go out with them for the very first time.
The night is finally here, and you are nervous. You spent hours trying to decide what to wear, how to do your hair and makeup, you went all out on making sure you smell well from your minty fresh breath to your sweet perfume (of course not an overly strong scent).
They say you “never get a second chance to make a first impression” and this statement, at this very moment is playing over and over again in your head because it is as if you just realized its significance and truthfulness.
The reality is that there are few crucial moments in this first meeting (whether you met on an online dating site such as eHarmony, Match.com or PerfectMatch or met through friends or the traditional way of swapping numbers through a chance encounter be it at the bar or your local coffee shop.
In your head, all you keep thinking about is: how can you get the all-important chemistry flowing between the two of you as fast as possible.
Some people mistakenly leave it up to “fate” often using the saying “if we were meant to be together we would be together.”
Well, let us be the one to gently tell you that making those all-important sparks fly is not up to fate (well at least not entirely up to fate).
Dating pros will tell you that there are various things that you can actively do to increase the chances of first date success, build chemistry and make that all-important connection that will lead to many more dates, and who knows a lasting relationship.
Continue reading to learn how to turn your nervous energy into energy that will draw your date in and make for a memorable first date.
Let’s get right into my First Date Do’s and Don’ts for Women article! Also, make sure to check out some of my other articles including best first date ideas and first date conversation as well!
- Find more article on our home page:
The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for Women in 2019 . There has never been a better manual for ladies looking for love online. Be sure to check it out – for free!
How to have a Memorable Time-out
While making the right impression is the bane of every first date, what you do and say will go a long way to assist you in fulfilling this, so keeping to the etiquettes of dating and the basic essentials will ensure that things end up well for you, leading to more dates in the future.
First Date Do’s and Don’ts: Before the Date
Do: Tell the Truth – Please be completely honest when completing your online profile and during the communication phase of the relationship.
You no doubt want to put the best of you out there; however, telling half-truths to make this happen is ill-advised.
Now although we suggest that you be completely honest about yourself, we also recommend that you do not share too much about yourself in the beginning.
Men typically love some amount of mystery and giving too much information, especially before or even on the first date, could end your chances of a relationship even before it has begun.
Don’t: Lie – We understand that everyone wants to put their best foot forward and showcase the best aspects of ourselves.
Unfortunately there people who believe that putting their best foot forward means showcasing the best aspects of ourselves means embellishing their profile image to your job, social lives and family situation.
If this is you or if you are considering such actions then we strongly advise that you don’t even bother and be honest.
These little “white lies” will only hurt your chances of love in the long run.
Think about it: would you like to be all excited to meet Mr. Right only to realize that he is much heavier than you expected (based on his picture), has less hair and well looks like he is about 15 years older than he appeared to be?
We don’t think so; therefore do not put someone through that misery.
Do: Check and Double Check and even Triple Check His Profile – Please make sure that you review the online dating profile of your date before you leave your house, work, etc. to go on your first date.
Why is this important? Well imagine you arrive at the designated location, and you say to your date “Hi Bob” only to have him correct you by telling you that his name is John – how embarrassing.
Do: Know What You Want – It is essential that you are 100% clear about the things that you are looking for or expect to happen on your first date.
Do some soul searching to determine your needs so that you can tell if your first date will lead to a meaningful second date or not.
Do: Get a Pep Talk from Your Friend(s) – If you are feeling nervous then don’t be afraid to give your close friend(s) a call for a pep talk.
This talk can do you a world of good.
First Date Do’s and Don’ts: On the Date
Do: Showcase Positive Body Language – Let’s face it no one wants to invite someone who is not displaying some positive body language to a second date.
So to increase your chances of being asked out for a second date do be sure to show him some interest.
Some simple examples of things that you can do include smiling, leaning in when he speaks and making eye contact with him.
Of course, we are confident that you already like him/her.
Do: Listen – If you are one of those women who love to talk and talk and talk and never gives the other person the time to get a word in then you need to practice on your listening skills before going on date number one.
Do not dwell on your job, your life or any hobbies and skills that you possess.
Indeed these things are great things to talk about; however, please allow the other person to speak, actively and genuinely listen.
Don’t: Talk About Your Exes – This should go without saying; however, so many people make this mistake that we feel the need to include it in here.
Talking about your exes is a definite no-no. This is because talking about past failed relationships can unearth previous mistakes that you possibly made, something that can certainly cast a negative light on you as potential relationship material.
While we are on the subject of giving you advice on what not to talk about let’s move on to another issue that can potentially ruin the first date.
This also applies to divorcees.
Don’t: Go Overboard Talking About Your Kids – Yes, yes we know that you love your kids, and yes we know that your kids are as great as you are describing them to be; however, talking about your kids too much is ill-advised on the first date.
Sure you can talk about your kids, but please keep it to a minimum.
Do: Keep an Open Mind – You date might suggest something out of the ordinary such as a night playing video games or a dancing session or even a hiking trip.
The possibilities are endless so be sure to keep an open mind to a first date idea that might seem unconventional to you.
You never know what you might find out about yourself when you try something new.
Just remember to be safe and engage only in something after carefully assessing the situation.
Don’t: Go Somewhere with a lot of Eye-Candy – Let’s be real here ladies, most men are visual creatures and will look at any beautiful women that they see.
This is not to say that they are not interested, but I am saying that it is what it is. So when going on that all important first date it is in your best interest to avoid places with a lot of eye-candy that can cause your date to be overly distracted.
Remember the aim here is to get and keep the attention of your date, not to have him eyeing other options.
Don’t: Overindulge in Alcohol – Drinking a glass of wine is fine, but drinking to the point that you are not entirely in control of your senses is just not cool.
You might think that you are funnier, prettier or more relaxed when you drink, but to your first date, you might be something completely different – and not in a good way.
First Date Do’s and Don’ts: Dating and Food
Okay, so this is another thing to consider, especially if there will be food of any kind during your first date.
We all know that garlic of any kind isn’t date food and therefore should be avoided at all costs.
However, some other food types fall under the category of “never eat this while you’re on date number one.”
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Here’s a list of date unfriendly foods according to our findings.
Garlic – This involves garlic of any kind: garlic bread, garlic chicken, err on the side of caution and avoid all things garlic.
Ribs – Yes we know that ribs are, in the words of a popular fast food restaurant, “Its Finger-licking’ Good,” but honestly if you must use your fingers to eat then there is nothing good about it at all.
Finger Foods – Okay while we are talking about avoiding eating with your fingers on date number one, let’s say that all finger foods should be avoided.
Buffalo Wings – Avoid this food for the same reason for avoiding ribs.
Spaghetti – Think about how you usually eat spaghetti, it is usually long and dangly, and you generally have to slurp it to get it all into your mouth.
Now think about seeing your love interest doing that on date number one; do you think that this is romantic and attractive?
Chances are you do not. This being said, please avoid eating spaghetti or any noodle type foods on your first date.
Super Large Burgers – You know those super tall burgers that feels like you have to take your jaws apart to fit it in?
Yeah, those; avoid them on your first date.
Super Sauce Sloppy Joes – Now we know that most people love a good sloppy Joe and nothing is wrong with that at all.
However, on date number one let’s suggest not going with the ones that have so much sauce that it is dripping down your mouth.
If the food that you are about to eat has the possibility of dripping down your chin, we suggest that you avoid them.
Food Substitutes – So you look at the menu, and you know that ordering a particular item will mean making changes, requiring substitution or the elimination of a particular ingredient.
If any of these actions must be performed on your meal, then choose something else.
Why? Substituting or eliminating more than one ingredient will only make you appear high-maintenance and overly picky and can be seen as a big turnoff.
Most men find high-maintenance women to be unattractive.
Do: Bring your Dental Supplies – Okay so for some people this is the norm, and for others, this seems downright weird; however, when you look into a possible situation that can occur.
Picture this; you are at a restaurant, and you just had this fantastic meal, then suddenly you realize that you have something stuck between your teeth – not cool.
Something like this will only cause you to no more extended focus on your date and instead worry about the food that is stuck between your teeth.
At least if you have your dental supplies, you can excuse yourself to the bathroom and take care of business.
Read more about why men fail doing what they should not: Online dating deal breakers for women
Fresh off the press:
Back to the actual date now as there are a few more tips to keep in mind.
Don’t: Insist on splitting the bill – Yes, yes we know that you are a progressive woman, and yes we know that you love the thought of displaying your independence by offering, or even insisting on splitting the bill; however, on the first date, please don’t do that.
Most men like the traditional feeling that they get when they pay for the date.
If paying is a big thing for you then perhaps you can discuss who should pay before you go on the date.
Oh, but we do believe that it is completely fine to go Dutch on date number two.
Do: Be Bold – Okay ladies we understand that you have been taught to either wait for the guy to make the first move or are too afraid of rejection to make certain moves; however, if you enjoyed the date and would like to see him/her again then just be bold and ask for it.
Just express that you had a great time with them and asked if they would like to go out with you again.
The worst that could happen is that your date could say no. If they do say no then at least you know where you stand and not get your hopes up about a second date.
Finally, we know that women sometimes stress over how long a date should last.
No doubt you do not want it to be too long and yet you don’t want it to end too quickly.
There have been many recommendations about how long a date should be; however, we suggest not over-thinking the length of the date and plan your activities accordingly, taking into consideration the things/activities that your date is interested in and their personality.
A great date can be an hour or three hours in length, and some people have even had a lot of fun on a six-hour date.
If you must work with time, then one hour is an excellent time for a date. I hope you got some good information from my article on First Date Do’s and Don’ts for Women!
Want more love manuals:
You may also be interested in romantic evening ideas as well as do’s and don’ts for men!
If you are interested in the world of online dating, I suggest you check out my article on the best dating websites as well as some of my comparison articles including eHarmony vs Match, Zoosk vs OkCupid, OkCupid vs PoF and Match vs PoF!
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